Grief

Busan

 

Yesterday evening I lost my beautiful beloved Busan. She got very ill and despite trying there was nothing more to do without great risk for her… so I had to make the choice.

My grief is unbearable. I don’t know what to do with myself.

She was with me for 16 long and wonderful years, since I was eleven years old. She was my friend, my sister, my baby. She always stayed close to me, always right beside me.

Next to me in the sofa, no matter what was in the way. On a towel on my desk, or even better right on top of what I was working on. In my lap in the rocking chair. On her pillow in the hallway, waiting for me to get up in the morning to finally give her breakfast.

I see her everywhere at home. Like a shadow playing tricks in the corner of my eye. All her favorite spots, now aching so unbearably empty.

She is gone, and I can’t stand it.

I’ll probably be quiet for a while. Please send your thoughts my way.

/Madeleine